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Overdue, like a boring library book - A Most Illuminating Tale
read on...

Robert Wells or Mr Waters
Date: 1.51 am, Wednesday 21st April, 2004
Subject: Overdue, like a boring library book
Security: Public
Music:Cayto - God is Love
I hate it when my last post was a bad one and then I fail horribly to update. Before I say anything else, I am fine. All is well, or at least all will be well. And thank you for all the hugs and good wishes.

To be perfectly honest I've been under the weather and because of that I've not wanted to leave the house or update this or do anything. And then failing to get anything done makes me stressed and depressed and thusly tired and under the weather. A vicious circle that ends when I get off my lazy arse and do something. Beginning here.

Easter eve, despite a wonderful offer from androktone, I ended up spending with Joss in Battersea, playing games and drinking Belgian cherry beer. It was great. Did nothing but make my way home on the Sunday. Felt odd not to be with my parents because everyone else was. Ate a large pizza to myself. I remember that much.

At some point between then and now the following have happened:

I finished reading the books I had borrowed from the Steadman library. I heartily recommend Perec's The Gallery Portrait, and both The Exeter Text and A Void are intriguing and entertaining but incredibly dense. But then again Life: A User's Manual was a very heavy read, but it is still brilliant.

Oscar pointed me to a website he'd seen in the Guardian jobs page. Project Syzygy. Bastard. It has led me to the world of the ARG that I kinda knew was out there, but now I have an excuse. I spent a whole afternoon reading the backlog at one of the forums about PS and the puzzles that are already live. At the moment it is just a website inviting job applications and listing the influences. So I've spent much of the time since familiarising myself with the list of references.

So when I took the Oulipo books back to the Steadman residence on Saturday night, I borrowed the Da Vinci Code, having already completed all of the online webquests I could without it. I read it over two days (it's written in a very light American pulp style) punctuated with me running out of my room and shouting Oh My God You'll Never Believe What They're Doing Now. It's appallingly written and I can't bear to think that it is currently topping bestseller lists. However, it has a good treasure hunting plot and the webquests are the same. The puzzles are mostly shockingly easy and I was always waiting for the characters to realise something obvious and get on with it. It's also riddled with inaccuracies and mistakes, such as the English university student talking about taking "spring break from grad school".

Someone told me that when they have to thin down a large pile of scripts they need to read, a useful rule of thumb was to flick through and if there was, on its own, the line of dialogue "No!" then they tossed it aside. The more exclamation marks, the further it was thrown. I add to this the line "Let the girl go, this is between you and me" which occurs every time a gun is pulled in this trash novel. Most amusing is that it never is between "you and me". It is always the girl that they want.

On the Saturday when I briefly exchanged books with Lily, she was off to a party chez Ben and Miles while I was pootling to Hammersmith to see Shockheaded Peter at the Lyric Hammersmith. It was good to have Joe there so when I came out I could say "It wasn't as good as Three Dark Tales". Acquired a spoon and a thumb, as well as a signed copy of the soundtrack which has some wonderful moments. Went for a drink by the river afterwards and found an order for a barman that will now replace Two Large Gins and Two Pints of Cider, Ice in the Cider as my favourite.

Pistols for two. Champagne for one.

I know there must have been a thousand other things I wanted to write here, but I'll be the son of a Welsh camel if I can think of them. I'm reading a book called King Solomon's Carpet, sent to me by the lovely Fliss. I'm listening to Cayto's Your Atoms Are Laughing, sent to me by the lovely Fliss. She good to me. Must do something in return. I've been scoffing chocs (green and blacks, no less) given to me by the lovely Nina, who is also too good to me. I've been to FOPP today and actually bought things but, to balance out Ria's good fortune, I got home and discovered one box had the wrong disc and another was empty. And they were the two things I was a bit embarrassed about buying. Ah well. Back in the morning I suppose.

Remember kids, it's better to regret the things you did than the things you didn't.

And never read a novel that's bigger than your pocket.
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