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This post checked by the Lord Chamberlain personally - A Most Illuminating Tale
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters
Date: 1.45 am, Friday 18th August, 2006
Subject: This post checked by the Lord Chamberlain personally
Security: Public
Location:Coventry. Still.
Mood:a touch angry
When I found my train was cancelled today I was somewhat perturbed and so I would like to get a few things off my chest.

To the man I called first at National Rail Enquiries, I'm sorry. I was very short with you, which you did not deserve. I patronised you because I was sure you must have done something wrong, but in hindsight your advice was commendable, as was your attitude.

To the second man I got through to at National Rail Enquiries, thank-you. Like the first man, you gave me perfectly correct advice, and you checked all the permutations possible with patience, and rechecked your answers (or at least pretended to) in order to make me feel reassured.

To the man in the ticket booth, I'm sorry for trying to engage you in my plight, but you got me at the end of my tether and I just wanted someone to care. However, you changed the date on my ticket without batting an eyelid and I can't really ask any more than that.

To the fat ginger twat on the platform, when someone asks you where they should be because your trainline has fucked up in some way, you do what you can to help them. When they express doubt that there is going to be a connecting train, unless you personally have already checked the timetables, you go and check. You do not patronise them by insinuating that they don't listen to the station announcements before telling them to board a train that will strand them in Birmingham. When your incompetence is exposed you apologise for your failings. You do not say "it's not my fault". It's not your fault the train is not running, it is your fault that you sent me the wrong way and it is your fault that you lied. I'm sorry, ginger twat. I'm sorry I didn't stab you to death with a plastic spoon, you cock faced shite scented cuntilated bastard of a twatting jiz monkey with the brain of a midge's suppository.

I've spent a long time defending Virgin trains because of one particular train manager who worked above and beyond the call of duty one late night on the last train out of Euston. I find myself now slating Virgin trains due to one station manager who, although I'm sure doesn't deserve the rant above, just couldn't be arsed.
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 6.25 am, Friday 18th August, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Don't believe a word of what they say. Oxford station has got really bad these days. The other day I queued for almost an hour, and missed my train as a result, because they only had one ticket office open -- during the middle of the day! Yesterday they tried to sell me a ticket to Manchester for 89 pounds, when I know it's only 37. And remember when we met up with London and I phoned to check about that travel restriction? And I was assured that it didn't apply? Well it did -- I ended up sitting in Paddington for bloomin' ages.
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User: the_elyan
Date: 6.26 am, Friday 18th August, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Gosh. You do build up an impressive head of steam, don't you?

[Ronnie Barker voice] As a habitual train traveller, I accept delays as an occupational hazard, and therefore presumably accept idiot staff in the same, casual manner. They therefore feel constrained to commit me to the maximum term allowed for these offences - I shall be stuck in Doncaster for five hours.

Actually, I find train travel useful for developing a faintly Zen approach to time...
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User: randomchris
Date: 8.32 am, Friday 18th August, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Yep, I perfected the Zen approach to train travel.

Or at least I thought I had it perfected, until Virgin made me six hours late for a fucking job interview. Twatting cunts.
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User: medieval_bunny
Date: 9.05 am, Friday 18th August, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I too, like randomchris, had accepted the frailties of our national travel grid with affectionate patience. Until I missed a friend's birthday because I couldn't get onto a connecting train and ended up sitting in the middle of nowhere waiting to go home, and the only concern or apology I had all day was from a fellow passenger. Shitty bollocky bastards. Rant all you wish.
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User: libellum
Date: 10.00 am, Friday 18th August, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Come to our housewarming on Saturday, and we will placate you with booze and gifts.
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User: longbird
Date: 11.49 am, Friday 18th August, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
So are you still coming or what?!

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