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The Sage is In - A Most Illuminating Tale
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters
Date: 4.05 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006
Subject: The Sage is In
Security: Public
Tags:meme
The sage is in today to answer all of your inpenetrable quandries. Ask me a question, any question and I will answer truthfully, honestly and completely.*
Ever wondered what happens to the light when you turn out the fridge? I know, and I'm willing to share.
*For some degree of truth, honesty and completeness being somewhere near 0. Full disclaimer pilfered from pozorvlak.
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pozorvlak
User: pozorvlak
Date: 4.52 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: OK, I'll bite
What does happen to the light when you turn out the fridge? What does that even mean?

I do know some people who climbed inside a fridge to see what happened to the light when you close the door...
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Hand
User: weaselspoon
Date: 5.18 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: Re: OK, I'll bite
Keyword:Hand
Obviously, without the cooling of the fridge, the "light" expands exponentially, consuming and converting all matter in a manner only before seen in science fiction films with no grasp of physics. This means the total destruction of the Universe and the Fridge.

In my old house it remained on and burned brightly enough that it cooked everything on the top shelf.
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pozorvlak
User: pozorvlak
Date: 6.29 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: Re: OK, I'll bite
C|N>K :-)
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Andrew Jarvis
User: weaselspoon
Date: 6.35 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: Re: OK, I'll bite
Keyword:Andrew Jarvis
Go on. Ask me another. Bring it on.
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Graham
User: spencerpine
Date: 7.16 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
How do you successfully make a frittata, so that it cooks all the way through without burning the bottom?
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Hand
User: weaselspoon
Date: 12.44 pm, Tuesday 7th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Hand
Don't sit on the hob while cooking, obviously. What kind of extreme cooking are you into?
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i_digress
User: i_digress_uk
Date: 7.32 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hmmmmm.

Okay.
Why is cheese?
What is hello?
When is pink?
And finally - how can I make a lot of money very quickly?
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Hand
User: weaselspoon
Date: 1.16 pm, Tuesday 7th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Hand
Respectively:

Then x is a jacobs cream cracker and z is a really nice chutney.
A magazine devoted to the cause of making people want to live in hotels.
In the middle of the first act, just after she said "What I don't understand is...".
A very clever man once said that to make a million dollars all you need to do is buy a million bags of flour for a dollar each, and then sell them for two dollars each. You need to find someone who desperately needs flour now. Or rob a bank. They are the only two options. I've tried all the others. (I didn't make a penny as a prostitute)
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 7.40 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
What happens when we die?

Where do babies come from?
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turpentinekiss_: lolaramma
User: turpentinekiss_
Date: 7.53 pm, Monday 6th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:lolaramma
oh that was me
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Hand
User: weaselspoon
Date: 12.52 pm, Tuesday 7th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Hand
Where do babies come from?
A friends toddler remarked yesterday, in the middle of the supermarket, "Food in there" (pointing to her mouth) "Poo out there" (pointing to her behind). The significance of this philosophically cannot be emphasised enough. The simple empirical evidence that incomings=outgoings, even if the form is different. We note the bulk of the incomings before a baby is born is the food that the mother craves. Thus I conclude that Babies come from Crazy Food. QED.

What happens when we die?
That would be telling. I'll tell you something though, there is not silence, there is peace. There is no quiet, but a rich harmony that weaves its way through everything. It is not something that should be feared.
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Cartoon
User: weaselspoon
Date: 12.52 pm, Tuesday 7th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Cartoon
Although looking again you could conclude that babies are an alternative to poo.
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Hand
User: weaselspoon
Date: 1.44 pm, Tuesday 7th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Hand
1) At the gym. They've been waiting a long time for you.
2) In the freezer, labelled lambchops.
3) Are you finished?
4) Ugugughagaghurgh of the tribe Ugugug. Thrown while attempting to ride a tiger. Landed on head. Fractured spine. Dead instantly. Awful tradgedy. Only got 5.4 for style from the Ugagag judge.
5) No, they waltzed.
6) Ask yourself, if I were an important dockits file, where would I be? That's right. It's in the pub.
7) The nothingness.
8) They're not me and they're talking.
9) July 17th 1983.
10) The Itsaboy Chorus.
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 8.55 pm, Tuesday 7th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
1. If you are the sage, where is the onion?
2. Is this a question?
3. Do you always answer a question with a question?
4. What is the difference between a duck?
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters: Hand
User: weaselspoon
Date: 5.37 pm, Wednesday 8th February, 2006 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Hand
1. The onion is where it has always been. On yon page
2. No.
3. Yes.
4. One is an animal of the Order Anseriformes and Family Anatidae which bobs its head under the water in search of food. The other is an aquatic bird which performs gang rape.
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