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The cloud seems to be lifting - A Most Illuminating Tale
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Robert Wells or Mr Waters
Date: 4.40 pm, Friday 5th September, 2003
Subject: The cloud seems to be lifting
Security: Public
I've been down these past few days.

Dinner on Wednesday was everything I expected. They put us in the Charles Dickens room, which was very apt. Lovely meal. Good service. Perfect style. Then to Sanctuary for SC, EB, DB, JM and myself. Weirdness. Then walking everyone to their buses and finally catching the first tube home. I cried all the way back.

I didn't do anything yesterday. Wasted my day off.

Good morning this morning. Despite having no energy and feeling like shit, SC and I have made a cut of New Quixote (although still a little long) and we've looked at it with MV and RS (Vocal Coach). We'll do another hour tonight and then I have a dance class.

I am going home this weekend and that will be good for me. To get out of this frustrating loop. To go dancing in a town where I was well loved. (spot the play and win a clay pipe) Aisa, what are yuo doing tomorrow night?

Some stuff for those who are interested:

The New Quixote or Moving In
By Michael Frayn
Cut as of 05/09/03 12:52

KENNETH: Darling!
GINA: Oh! Oh...I thought you’d gone. What is all this?
KENNETH: I just went to fetch my stuff!
GINA: Your stuff! What stuff!
KENNETH: I didn’t take long in the van. I don’t believe in loading myself with a lot of personal possessions.
GINA: Before you fetch anything else in, Keith...
KENNETH: Kenneth!
GINA: Kenneth, I think we’d better sit down quietly and have a serious talk.
KENNETH: I just want to talk and talk all day! I’ve got so many things I must tell you! Oh, Gina!
GINA: Now, Kenneth...
KENNETH: You can call me Keith if you want to. I don’t feel like Kenneth any more! I feel completely changed! As if I was walking about in a story, and it was all written down already! Do you know what I mean! It’s like seeing the world for the first time!
GINA: Now, listen, Kenneth, I don’t want you to think I regret last night, or that I didn’t enjoy it... And I feel... very touched. But now let’s just be serious for a moment, shall we?
KENNETH: I haven't even begun to tell you how I feel about everything! It's so complicated and surprising! I think what I feel most of all is ... (He stops to examine his feelings.) Completely exhausted! (He slumps into the sofa, almost as if he is going to faint.)
GINA: Now, Kenneth, listen to what I'm going to say very carefully, and don't misunderstand me. I like you very much, and I hope we shall see quite a lot of each other. But I don't think we ought to rush our fences. You're very impulsive - full of enthusiasm for life ... (He snores. She looks round at him.) Oh, no! (She shakes him awake. He sits up, puts his arm round her, and pulls her down on top of him. She struggles free.) No, no, no! We've got to be serious for a moment. One thing we must get straight at once. You can't stay here.
KENNETH: Oh, sorry, Gina. I'll move upstairs into the bed.
GINA: No, I mean you can't just move in like this!
KENNETH: (Baffled.) Why not?
GINA: Well, because ... because you can't! I haven't invited you to, have I?
KENNETH: How long have I been asleep? What's been happening? When I went to sleep everything was new and different. I wake up and it's all back to normal again.
GINA: I’m sorry, Kenneth.
KENNETH: We love each other, don’t we?
GINA: Well...
KENNETH: I love you. You love me. Don’t you?
GINA: Well...
KENNETH: Of course you do! You said you did, last night.
GINA: Did I?
GINA: At the party?
KENNETH: In bed!
GINA: Oh... then...
KENNETH: Yes, then!
GINA: But supposing somebody comes in? Let’s say a man. Someone coming to take me out.
KENNETH: (Staring at her.) You’ve got men who...take you out?
GINA: Well, yes.
KENNETH: You never told me that.
GINA: You never asked.
KENNETH: But you wouldn’t let them ... take you out now.
GINA: What do you mean, now?
KENNETH: I mean, after ... well, now.
GINA: What do you want me to do? Ring them all up and tell them not to come?
KENNETH: How many of them are there?
GINA: Well, I don’t know - I don’t keep a list...
KENNETH: But there are several?
GINA: Yes!
KENNETH: Not just one special one?
GINA: No! Well ... yes.
KENNETH: There is a special one?
GINA: Yes.
KENNETH: Someone you used to be in love with?
GINA: Used to be in love with?
KENNETH: Before.
GINA: Well ... someone I’m ... fond of.
KENNETH: But not in love with?
GINA: Look, he’s someone I’ve known for a long time. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
KENNETH: He’s not coming today, is he?
GINA: Well, he may! As a matter of fact he is. He’s coming to take me out to lunch.
KENNETH: You must explain to him, then, love! I’ll explain to him!
GINA: Oh, Kenneth! We’ll see each other next week some time.
KENNETH: What sort of man is he? Is he ... handsome?
GINA: Yes.
KENNETH: What kind of work does he do?
GINA: He ... works for one of those big oil companies.
KENNETH: What’s his name?
GINA: David.
KENNETH: David... Where’s he taking you for lunch?
GINA: I don’t know!
KENNETH: What sort of places does he usually take you to? Expensive places?
GINA: Sometimes.
KENETH: The Ivy? The Caprice? Places like that?
GINA: More or less.
KENNETH: Night clubs?
GINA: Occasionally. (He continues to stare at her. Then suddenly he laughs and relaxes.)
KENNETH: Oh, Gina, darling! For a moment I thought you were being serious!
GINA: I am being serious! Why do you think I'm not?
KENNETH: (With amused gentleness.) Women don't fall in love with handsome men who take them to night clubs!
GINA: (Bemused.) Don't they?
KENNETH: Well, some women may. But you don't. (He kisses her neck.) You fall in love with men like me, who work for obscure electronics firms, and arrive with all their dirty washing in a plastic bag. Now, breakfast ... (He exits, leaving her gaping after him. A beat then she follows.)

I took this on a whim and found the results amusing:

Schizotypal:Very High
Borderline:Very High
Avoidant:Very High
Dependent:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Think that's all I've got to say. I'll get ranty elsewise.
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